action man

some time ago, the entire mc'd(eath) toy collection did a mass exodus from my house.

two garbage bags worth left their comfort zone to the big wide world and made their way to the nearest vinnies bin. amongst these, were an array various action man figures and his props. with a childs supervision, he could catch a flying fox between chairs, he could ski in the shower, ride a snowmobile on the carpet, four wheel drive across my foot and sidle along the death defying edge of the coffee table. too many appeared to count and strangely, alot more than happy meals were ever bought.

these tiny little figurines seemed to multiply as soon as your back was turned. according to the spraypaint pants he wore, there was no apparent genitalia nor any other breeding apparatus to speak of. however (and not for those reasons), he was coaxed into a bag and sent on his way.

or so i thought.

i noticed one around the house and thought that maybe i missed one. then another and another. this is just plain creepy. what is he doing back here? what does he want from me? i mean really, if someone wrapped you in plastic and gave you away, would you come back? does action man have any self-esteem? there seems to be more to this guy than the spotty, gum-chewing, teenage server whose only concern was if i wanted fries with that ever suspected at the time of order.

maybe he's come back to prove he is indeed a man of action. he made his way out of a charity bin to come back to me. but is he going to do the dishes? will he vacuum daily? will i get breakfast in bed? will he constuctively criticise my assigments? and most importantly, will he take the garbage out?

i dont fucking think so........................