tastebugs and other body bits

ummmmm

jp informed me in all sincerity(thats what his face showed) the other night that his tastebugs are different to my tastebugs and that only HIS tastebugs knew what HE liked.

he could have just told me what he wanted for dinner earlier when i asked him and i would have made something his tastebugs actually liked.

rj announced yesterday that his bottom was itchy and he needed chocolate to fix it.

we went to the chemist and made sure his (and everyone elses) bottom was soothed with yummy chocolate. im sure any parasites in there would have enjoyed it too. til they died from the secret hidden ingredient (hehehe die you fucking intestinal tract hitchikers)

in another unrelated conversation....

jp: mum do you remember when you thought you knew everything?
me: you mean when YOU thought i knew everything . dont hang your disappointments of reality on me sweetheart
jp: sorry mum it was just a bit sad that day

these are small excerpts from conversations held during a normal day in our house.......

family unplanning

heres a list of things to expect when you make an appointment with family planning regarding iud replacement and dont take into account that its a staff "personal development" (im wtfing too)day at school and your children arent a part of it.....

1. your children will be with you
2. they will listen intently to the conversation in great bewilderment and amazement or think the appt is all about them and they need their bp taken
3. you will suddenly be told you need to have an internal examination during this appt
4. your children will want to watch
5. if you have a cervix that sits quite high up:
a) tell them
b) go and put more money in the parking meter because this may take a while
6. the nurse wont be able to find your cervix and will go and get a bigger speculum
7. your children will be playing peek-a-boo with you from behind the curtain
8. the bigger speculum will prove to be far more uncomfortable and just as useless in the search for your cervix
9. the nurse will ask another nurse to see if she can find it
10. you will then receive a phone call at this point from someone about your eldest child and his speech processor upgrade
11. the other nurse cant find it
12a. your eight yr old will want a cuddle
12b. your 7yr old shows you the cool but too small plastic bracelet he found. be sure to ask the nurse if thats a nova ring. shes bound to confirm it is but not to worry ast its only a sample model.
13. the nurse chooses that point to get a doctor to have a look
14. the doctor comes and (eventually) finds it
15. your eight yr old wants to know whats so fascinating between your legs that 3 women not only have to see but they also need a light to do so
16. your seven year old wants to know what an iud is
17. its now time for the rest of the pelvic exam
18. when the doctor reaches your left ovary, you will believe she is trying to drive her finger THROUGH it
19. she will then ask if it hurts
20. if you personally remove her hand from the situation, this will assure her that it does
21. you will have to repeat point 20 when she does it again
22. both of your children want to go home NOW regardless of the fact you have no pants on
23. you walk out eventually with a ultrasound request and a vague rememberance of dignity

*doofdoofarrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhdoofdoof*

pmsl dudefalling you gotta watch it

locations role in comprehension (i.e you had to be there)

"oh and that bit was so funny when he threw the bone and rexie chased it and remember when they guy had a gun that didnt work and the monkey that stole the keys all the time and that waterwheel is so cool how it comes off and mum did you see that bit where i was frozone and i made the fire into ice and the bad guys that stole the gold thing they were so bad and when the mummy came to life he was all dusty i thought he would be a skeleton and the two guys in the remote control car and it exploded and how you can get will to stand on the waterwheel with his sword going (makes swordfight moves) and then the statue "dumdum give me gumgum" he's the funniest ever and the 3 old guys they were really just pretending to be old but they could fight and then frozone can make an icebridge and it was so funny when rexie was drinking from the water thing cause he's just bone and when they stabbed the tyre and most of the men blew away like this "whooooaaaaa" (actions included) and they tried to run the guy over with the train but it just smashed into his head yea that was the best"

explanation and interpretation time:

that was part of the 2 hour debrief from jp after dragging the bratboys around yesterday looking for some seriously mundane necessities i.e vacuum cleaner, we went via toys r us to my brothers house and had dinner and watched a movie.

at toys r us bought the incredibles xbox game where mr incredible smashes things and frozone freezes things.

we also bought rj the megabloks pirates of the caribbean waterwheel. 160 pieces, 1 hour to build, 5 seconds to destroy.......

we watched "night at the museum" as well. its brilliant!

which is why it took jp longer to talk about it than the runtime lmao

adaptitudes

its just fantastic that ive moved to the other side of the country and some ppl have decided that, instead of telling me im missed or my jumpstarters are needed (theyre not mine btw guys) or sometimes starfish move etc etc, to have heaps of insulting shite piled on me instead.

BECAUSE LEAVING ALL OF MY FRIENDS WASNT HARD TO DO AT ALL AND LIVING WITH MY BROTHER IS JUST A DREAM COME TRUE. NOW GET TO SIT COMPLETELY ALONE AND WADE THROUGH THE PAPERWORK JUST TO GET INTO UNI, NOT HAVE FRIENDS POP IN FOR COFFEE OR SPEND HOURS SNUGGLED UP WITH THEM AND WONDER WHAT THE FUCK IVE DONE TO GET MYSELF INTO THIS SCENARIO AND FURTHER, HAVE A FRIEND CALL ME SEVERAL TIMES FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY AND THINK ITS OK AND EXTREMELY FUNNY TO TELL ME I SUCK AND MY ARSE SHOULD BE KICKED ALOT

ITS WHAT IVE ALWAYS WANTED.

let me unassure you all of that last statement by saying *end sarcasm*

the end

kinda.........

p.s thanx you lot who tell me you do miss me and stuffs. you know i miss and love you all incessantly back. even obsessionally (i put that in to scare you and make you think im coming back soon)

dub dub dub

because ppl taking the piss out of barry white AND lotr is always funny.......

i like drunk

drunk? bored? best mate passed out? fresh out of ideas on what to do to him/her?


try here for more great ideas and dont forget to take pics. youre friends will love that even tho they cant remember, theres pic of their real life experience anyway........